I am learning who I am for the first time in a long time, and perhaps for the first time becomming myself fully. Due to terrible things that happened in my childhood and adolescent years, my maturity and development as a person was stunted. I learned how to look good on the outside and how to conform to what others around me wanted in order to not be noticed, but I never really grew up.
I married against God's will in a desperate attempt to get away from a very difficult family situation. I sucessfully manipulated myself into thinking it was a good marriage, for a little while. Then when I could not stand it anymore, I began to seek help and truth. The help I received was having my eyes opened, learning how to believe and accept the truth, and acting on it. Papa God provided the encouragment I needed to have the guts to do something about my chaotic life. God brought me out of the terrible marriage I put myself in. He's fixing my mess that I made.
I'm regaining my personality, I'm remembering who God was trying to develop me into being when I was a child. My heart has become silly, and inquizative. My heart is becomming honest with myself and with my God.
